This is a letter to the man I love.
I will get raw.
I will get vulnerable; because I must. I must because doing otherwise would be a betrayal of what I feel for you and the intimacy that we share.
What I feel for you deserves all my rawness. All the vulnerability. All of my intimacy. Hell, you deserve all of me and the testament to that is the fact that there are very few things in this world that I wouldn’t do to be with you.
All of the moments we have shared are precious moments that I treasure in my heart and mind. I’m sure my soul carries you too. You embody everything I want.
But life…this letter is really to you.
This letter is me begging you to stop the anguish that you have caused me, when it comes to him.
Because life, you have taught me that my vulnerability and love will not always be enough. Life, you have shown me other men, who have not honoured me in the manner I deserve to be honoured. Life, you have shaped the woman I am today and for that I love you…but life, you have also put me through hell.
Life has taught me that the more raw I get within some relationships, the worse it is for me: because not everyone is ready for the sort of intimacy I crave.
Life has taught me that if I’m too forgiving and open to accept some back into my life once more , I am at risk of being a man’s doormat with self worth issues. Yet when I pick me, I am selfish ?
Life you have broken my heart and confused me.
I have broken myself and confused myself.
So is it really a surprise that I cannot be with the man I love?
So Gemini, yes. It is heartbreak warfare – but you forgot that life was and will always be the third party in this affair.