“I’m standing on my own again.
I’m crying while you’re gone, again.
I survey the room that you’ve left me in.
It is no longer ours, and now I see signs that it never was.
So, I stand here and I cry over the loss of a love I never had.
And I ache for a heart no longer in my chest.”
Cheaters, liars, troublemakers.
They used to call men like this ‘rakehells’ back in the day. Something about the term is quite delightful, to be honest. It’s definitely a more dignified term than ‘fuckboy’ and ‘player’. (The English language is slowly becoming redundant in its intricacies. But that’s an article for another time…maybe.) Rakes were a seemingly more dignified breed of players, that’s for damn sure, but even a pretty word doesn’t change the core of the act itself. Promiscuity. And in a lot of instances, it tends to lead to cheating which is really the problem. While most times, the label ‘cheater’ refers to men, we often forget that men aren’t the only ones that cheat. There’s no true statistic on whether women cheat more than men, because women are simply more vocal about when they’ve been cheated on than men. Pride, obviously, forcing most men to suffer in ‘silence’, so to speak.
The point of this, however, is why? Why do people feel the need or have the impulse to cheat? What is it about the thrill and temptation that temporarily obliterates the memory of the loved one they have waiting at home for them, so secure in their trust of their partner? I’ve personally never felt that impulse. I’ve thought about whether I ever would and I know for certain it’s something that wouldn’t happen. I couldn’t bear to cause someone pain like that, knowing full well I couldn’t bear it myself. (How can people look past this?)
Part of me thinks that some people cheat because of the thrill. It overrides their emotions, their morals, and seeking that thrill and that pleasure is all they want in that moment. The thrill of potentially getting caught, the forbidden nature of the act itself, it’s euphoric.
And that’s the crux of most vices of the human nature, isn’t it. Forbiddance. We want what we can’t have. We want what we shouldn’t have. If what we wanted suddenly became something that was permissible, it would no longer be desirable. It’s the oldest trick in the book. We all know the Adam and Eve story, regardless of whether you believe in it or not.
Where does that sense of acquiring something forbidden stem from? Is that what made man great conquerors? All throughout history, man has conquered and declared dominion on land, animals, other men. Only those men that conquered through force and violence are remembered more distinctly. It sheds light on the fact that we want what we can’t have. If someone rolled over and gave us what we wanted, it would lose its appeal.
So is that why some people are more inclined to cheat than others? They simply lack the discipline to understand that not all forbidden fruit should be bitten into?
I had a friend who thrived in planning opportunities to cheat. He had a wonderful girlfriend waiting at home, and he loved her so much, but that wouldn’t stop him from cheating on her. He would hate himself after, every single time, but come tomorrow there he was chasing after another skirt – the chase was too much to deny. And those girls knew the drill, always! Sometimes, that makes the entire act all the more treacherous; that not one, but both individuals are aware they’re hurting a third party, yet doing it anyway.
It’s no wonder human beings are where we are right now. The death, the destruction, the assimilation of absolute power and even more corruption is an unwavering part of our past, present, and foreseeable future. Maybe we truly don’t deserve the life we’ve been given. Even still, it is ours.
I read somewhere that earth could be our hell. That this is truly as bad as it gets and we just haven’t realised it yet. It makes sense. For hell, or even heaven, to be truly effective it needs to have variation. Maybe that’s why our world goes through moments of absolute chaos and pain, before moments of serenity, only for that to be ripped away from us to be replaced with more pain, chaos and destruction only a moment later. Blink, and we’re in the upside down. Blink again, and the world is back to normal.
Heck, maybe that’s the real reason why people cheat, lie, steal, kill. We’re all doomed to live in hell anyway, whether that was premeditated or a hell created of our own past, might as well earn that place.