Throughout my undergraduate degree I was never in a relationship [well…not a serious one anyway]. Not because I have anything against relationships, but because I decided that I needed time to discover myself. Fast forward to the second year of my studies, I downloaded Tinder. But the shocking experiences I encountered on Tinder really explain why I continued to be single. In fact, if anything Tinder took me further out of the dating scene; I really need to do a series on my Tinder experiences titled Tinder horror stories, but that’s a story for another day.
Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that despite the occasional urge to put myself out there once in awhile, I was comfortable being single. However, there were times when I would question how comfortable I was; the constant questions regarding who I was dating, why I was single and how I managed to be happy alone would sometimes linger in my mind and I’m sure my experience is one that’s relatable.
We need to celebrate being single as much as we do relationships because a partner should never be the determining factor of your happiness. Plus, with such a mindset, isn’t one more prone to settle in the name of having someone by their side as opposed to finding the right person? I know a lot of factors could lead a person to this point but I think the onus is on you to figure yourself out, find inner happiness then pursue whatever it is you want to pursue.
From my personal experience and the people I’ve encountered, it’s usually women who struggle with this and once you throw in the ‘biological clock’, pressure from family members, the ‘role’ of a woman in society and a plethora of unwelcome comments from overconfident strangers, it’s understandable that one would want to settle down ASAP. But my question is whether men go through this as well or if the non-existent pressure to settle down related with being a bachelor is completely true?
Regardless, what I will say is, invest time in yourself, enjoy it as you discover this thing called life and realize that you are only as happy as you can make yourself because at the end of the day, you’re the only one lying alone with your thoughts in bed at night.